By Danny Zane, Person Centred Counsellor > Picture by Christian Buehner.
In my work as an integrative therapist, I regularly witness the complex relationship many men have with vulnerability. Culturally, men are often taught both subtly and overtly to equate strength with self-sufficiency, stoicism, and control. Vulnerability, by contrast, can be perceived as weakness, failure, or a threat to one’s identity. This conditioning can create deep inner conflict and disconnection from the self and others.
From an integrative perspective, I draw on a range of therapeutic approaches to meet each client where they are. Person Centred therapy provides a foundation of empathy, acceptance, and non-judgment creating a space where men can safely begin to explore parts of themselves they may have long kept hidden. Psychodynamic work can help uncover how early relational experiences, attachment styles, and family roles shaped their current ways of relating to vulnerability. Meanwhile, cognitive behavioural approaches offer practical tools to challenge limiting beliefs like “I must always be in control” or “I can’t let anyone see I’m struggling.”
For many male clients, learning to name and tolerate emotional discomfort is unfamiliar and profoundly healing. Vulnerability becomes not a sign of weakness, but a path to deeper connection, resilience, and authenticity. It allows space for men to redefine strength as the capacity to be honest, emotionally available, and human.
In therapy, we work together to deconstruct unhelpful narratives, build emotional literacy, and foster a more compassionate relationship with the self. When men are given permission to be vulnerable, they often discover not only greater emotional freedom but more satisfying relationships, clearer boundaries, and a renewed sense of inner authority. I’m Danny Zane a Harley Street Associate
