LGBTQ+ Coming Out2023-10-06T10:45:55+01:00

By Dr Mimi Goess Saurau, Psychologist

Discovering yourself and your identity and where it is you fit amongst the LGBTQ+ community can be difficult, or incredibly easy. No matter what your journey was to discovering who it is you are, you are deserving of a safe environment where you feel supported. Sexual orientation refers to who one is physically or emotionally attracted to. You do not have to be sexually active in order to have a sexual orientation. Gender is the way in which someone portrays themselves socially, it is completely separate from your sex. Often what causes the most distress is not the realisation that one is not heterosexual or does not identify with the gender they were assigned with at birth, but the potential judgement that they may receive from others if they were to come out. Many people who are in the process of discovering their identity can experience fear that they will receive judgement, and even verbal and physical abuse from others, all of which can have an impact on self-esteem and identity formation. Having a safe space to talk through feelings around the coming out process can be helpful and reduce feelings of isolation.

It is also important to mention that you do not owe anyone your sexuality or your identity. Coming out is not you coming out of the metaphorical closet, but allowing people to understand you on a deeper level. 

LGBTQ+: relationship therapy in a heteronormative society

By Naomi Magnus MProf MBACP UKCP >

In a diverse and inclusive society, it is crucial for relationship therapy to address the unique challenges faced by individuals with different gender identities and sexual orientations. This blog aims to shed light on the importance of relationship therapy in supporting and empowering individuals within the LGBTQ+ community. By fostering understanding, communication, and acceptance, relationship therapy can help couples and individuals build healthier and more fulfilling relationships. In a heteronormative society like the UK, the dominant models of relationships shown in popular culture and press are often of cisgender and heterosexual couples any therapist working with a non-heteronormative relationship must bring a consciousness of this to their work in order to have an authentic journey with their clients. 

Understanding Gender and Sexuality Diversity:

Gender and sexuality diversity encompasses a wide range of identities, including but not limited to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning (LGBTQ+), as well as different forms of relationships such as polyamory and consensual non-monogamy. Each individual’s experience within this spectrum is unique, and it is essential for relationship therapists to approach these identities with respect, empathy, and cultural sensitivity.

Creating a Safe and Inclusive Environment:

Relationship therapy should provide a safe and inclusive space where individuals can openly express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of judgment or discrimination. Therapists should actively educate themselves about gender and sexuality diversity, familiarise themselves with appropriate terminology, and be aware of the specific challenges faced by all individuals.

Addressing Communication and Understanding:

Effective communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Relationship therapy can help couples and individuals navigate the complexities of gender and sexuality diversity by facilitating open and honest conversations. Therapists can guide clients in exploring their own identities, understanding their partner’s experiences, and developing effective communication strategies that promote empathy and mutual respect.

Challenging Stereotypes and Internalised Bias:

Societal stereotypes and internalised bias can significantly impact relationships within the LGBTQ+ community. Relationship therapy can help individuals challenge these biases, develop self-acceptance, and foster a positive self-image. Therapists can also assist couples in addressing external pressures and societal expectations, empowering them to build relationships based on authenticity and mutual support.

Supporting Coming Out Processes:

Coming out is a deeply personal and often challenging journey for individuals within the LGBTQ+ community. Relationship therapy can provide a supportive environment for individuals to explore their feelings, fears, and concerns related to coming out to their partners, family, and friends. Therapists can offer guidance on navigating these conversations, managing potential conflicts, and fostering understanding and acceptance.

Navigating Relationship Challenges:

Relationship therapy can help LGBTQ+ couples and individuals navigate specific challenges that may arise due to gender and sexuality diversity. These challenges may include issues related to societal acceptance, family dynamics, legal rights, and parenting. Therapists can provide guidance, resources, and strategies to address these challenges, empowering couples to build resilient and thriving relationships.


Relationship therapy plays a vital role in supporting individuals within the LGBTQ+ community as they navigate the complexities of gender and sexuality diversity. By fostering understanding, communication, and acceptance, therapists can help couples and individuals build healthier and more fulfilling relationships. It is essential for therapists to approach these issues with cultural sensitivity, respect, and a commitment to ongoing education. Together, we can create a world where all relationships are celebrated and supported, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.

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